Media Whore

Dead Space (Comics)

2008-10-09T22:18:00.002-05:00

DEAD SPACE: 6 Comic Series
Dead Space (6 Single Series)
IMAGE Comics
Written By: Antony Johnston
Art: Ben Templesmith
Reviewer: Joe

The combination of space and people dying in space has always gotten my interest. So naturally when I discovered that Image and Templesmith teamed up to create the six issue prequel to the highly acclaimed Dead Space Video Game, I had to get my grubby mitts on all six issues immediately.

The story begins on an alien planet in the distant future. A group of colonists are mining for resources when they discover some sort of strange alien artifact. Shortly after the discovery, people in the colony start acting very strange. Eventually a large group of religious fanatics who believe the artifact has some sort of religious meaning, commit a mass suicide. Before you know it, you've got a bunch of crazy mutated necromorphs killing everyone in a bloodbath that stretches to the end of the sixth issue. The colonists start to evacuate to one of their ships in space, the Ishimura, but most of the escape pods have already left. The last couple issues take you along with a few of the last remaining colonists while they fight for their survival against strange creatures that they have never seen before.

I recommend Dead Space to anyone who is a Templesmith fan. If you liked Thirty Days of Night, Fell, WormWood: Gentleman Corpse, or anything else in his portfolio, you will love Dead Space. I have'nt read much of anything else by Antony Johnston, but after reading these issues, I would definitely read something else with his name on it.

My only warning is that after reading the six issues, you are probably going to want to go out and buy the game. With the pre-order of the game online or at you local video game vendor, you get a free groovy hard back book of concept art inspired from the video game. It comes with some neato 3-D glasses that almost feel useless...but hey, its free isn't it.

Also, on October 28th, a Dead Space animated movie is being released that fills the gap between the comics and the game. The beginning of the game is actually the final piece of the Dead Space story. With all of the work that EA has put into the marketing of Dead Space, you've got to believe that this game is going to deliver on all cylinders.

Duke Nukem 3d (Xbox Live Arcade)

2008-10-08T17:45:00.002-05:00

Game: Duke Nukem 3D
Platform: Xbox Live Arcade
Publisher: Apogee Software
Developer: 3d Realms
American Release: September 24, 2008
Reviewer: Dan

Twelve years ago my father brought home twelve zipped floppy disks worth of Duke Nukem 3D. Unfortunately I played this game at a sweet 30 frames per minute. I hit right on the keyboard, I would turn 90 degrees… after a 12 second delay.

Eventually I went legit, saved up my allowance, and bought the Duke Nukem 3d CD ROM. I thought this was one of the greatest games ever created. My twelve year old self thought the dick and fart jokes were hilarious, and had an odd fascination with the strip club.

Flash forward to September 2008, and I still this is one of the greatest games of all time, and I still think the dick and fart jokes are hilarious. The boobs however have changed from an odd fascination, to a known fascination

For years I had been trying to convince my computer that it was much slower than it was so I could load Duke up again, but to no avail. The moment I heard Duke Nukem 3d was to be released on Xbox Live, I checked my “Microsoft Space Bucks” balance and paid the cool 800 points to relive this experience.

The enhanced menu briefly registered an 11 on my excitement meter, hoping against all hope that the reason Duke Nukem Forever hadn’t been released was because some of the guys at 3d Realms had been enhancing the classic. Unfortunately the menu, and the frame around the screen were the only things enhanced.

The moment I heard “I’m going to kick ass and chew bubblegum” I completely forgot 12 years of graphical leaps.

Looking up and looking down still bend the lines to give the illusion of a 3d world, the sprites still only have something like 6 angles, (front, back, side, side, kind of side, kind of side) and the sound effects are still B-movie lame. (An alien roars and a machine makes the same roar when it spawns.) I didn’t care. Erased from my mind were Halo, Call of Duty IV, and Bioshock. This was the top of the line shooter.

Duke Nukem 3d plays surprisingly well for a counsel port. (Need we remember the N64 version) Die hard first person shooter fans will still argue you can’t play this genre without a mouse, but remember at one point the mouse merely worked like the arrow keys. It moved your person, not your view. I actually find the game much easier to play with a controller than sitting a foot from a low resolution monitor, hunched over a keyboard.

The game still poses a challenge, but I don’t find myself stuck on levels like I do sometimes in the Doom arcade port. The Co-op is also much of an improvement. Mark it up to technology, but I remember spending hours trying to set up a simple LAN death match. Now it’s as easy as inviting a friend in.

Like the Doom arcade version, the death match is only moderately fun. This is attributed to the only strategy for dodging bullets is jumping and strafing. (A strategy still prevalent in most Halo death matches.)

I hope at some point more downloadable content becomes available. I remember having the Duke it out in D.C. expansion. I also remember downloading endless amounts of user created maps. I think the possibilities for 3d Realms to refill their bank accounts are almost endless. With only 200 achievement points available, and 250 points allowed to arcade titles, I think we can expect some more content down the line.

Duke Nukem 3D is definitely in the top 10 games available on Xbox Live Arcade. Honestly, where else will you get an achievement for paying to see pixilated boobs?

Forgetting Sarah Marshall (DVD)

2008-09-30T21:53:00.002-05:00

Title: Forgetting Sarah Marshall
Director: Nicholas Stoller
Writer: Jason Segel
Release: September 30th 2008
Reviewer: Dan

"Forgetting Sarah Marshall" breaks from the typical dick and fart joke formula Judd Apatow's clan seem to cling to nowadays. You know what, no it doesn't, but it does use the jokes sparingly.

From the title, most can probably figure out that this movie is about forgetting Sarah Marshall. Basically she is a parody of a more untalented Britney Spears. She's on a horrible CSI type show with better one liners and leaves her serious boyfriend for a British rock star. (Brilliantly played by Russell Brand) This film is all about Peter Brettle, (Played by Jason Segel) the ex-boyfriend, trying to get over Sarah Marshall.

Some of this crew's former movies such as "Super Bad," "40 Year Old Virgin" and to a lesser extent "Knocked Up" relied heavily on sex and pot jokes whereas "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" returns a bit to their roots like "Undeclared" and "Freaks and Geeks." Don't get me wrong, I still think "Super Bad" is hilarious, but after the first two viewings I start feeling awkward during the first 20 minutes (the f-bomb is dropped 400 times) and most of the jokes are predictable, whereas Sarah Marshall is as enjoyable to watch now as it was the first time I saw it.

The quick cuts to Peter crying or slaughtering a pig (You might think I just ruined some of the jokes, trust me I didn't.)always catch you by surprise. Peter's rock opera about Dracula will make you want to spend $18 on the soundtrack at your local Sam Goody.

I guess the best way to sum this movie up with a match up of "Garden State" and "Knocked Up." It has interesting characters that you care about, but makes you laugh about every 3-7 minutes. It's an endearing story, that although toned down the jokes, hits them much better. It's not completely kid friendly, for there are a couple penis flashes, but if you're mature at all this movie is a great watch.

New Podcast and our Website

2008-09-25T17:30:00.003-05:00

Our new podcast is up at what is currently the skeleton of our soon to be site. The sounds a bit better, the format's a little less organized, but the laughs are still running at 500 frames per second.

www.circuitjerk.com

Here's the link you need to go to for me to prove I'm better than Neil. Although not on Sega, "Spider" existed on the PS1.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spider:_The_Video_Game

Mercenaries 2: World in Flames (Xbox 360)

2008-09-23T18:24:00.001-05:00

Game: Mercenaries 2: World in Flames
Platform: Xbox 360
Publisher: Electronic Arts
American Release: August 31, 2008
Reviewer: Dan

Mercenaries 2 proves that simple works as long as there is a ton of stuff to blow up along the way.

The story is simple. You’re a mercenary that gets paid for a job. You complete said job and your employer backstabs you, doesn’t pay you and shoots you in the butt. (Spawning that extremely catchy commercial) These events essentially make you the laughing stock of Venezuela. Therefore, you go on a revenge rampage taking side jobs along the way.

The first thing you’re presented with is a series cut scenes that are directed well but are of Playstation 2 quality. The jaws don’t seem to be connected to the rest of the face sometimes. They hang loosely while the characters talk, producing a three-second delay. With cinematic achievements like Metal Gear Solid 4, it’s absolutely unforgivable to have cut scenes less than, oh let’s say, Dead Rising’s level.

The voice acting is actually pretty good. It’s especially refreshing considering the games I’ve played in the past couple of months. (Lost Odyssey, Lost Planet, and Metal Gear Solid 2, all with horrible voice acting and dialogue.) If only the voice acting were backed up by a deep story where the characters grow. You start out as a tattooed, badass mercenary who loves to blow things up, and you finished with as same character, but $50 million richer.

Honestly, for this type of game, the story isn’t important. The arsenal and characters are. I only hope the voice actors get hired on elsewhere because they’re pretty good.

Mercenaries produces hundreds of those nerd-bragging battle stories. Classics like “I blew up four city blocks with a Daisy Cutter and RPG” or “I threw a helicopter pilot out of the cockpit and then used his chopper to level his base.”

There are quick time events, which normally I frown upon, but they actually work in this game. Anytime you want to highjack a tank or helicopter, you have to hit a series of buttons. Normally the action sequences are funny… the first three times you see the same one. For instance, on one of the tanks your character runs along the cannon, pops open the hatch and the driver pops up. If you hit the buttons correctly, your character will grab his grenade and wrestle over it, the driver gets the grenade, the mercenary gets the pin, and you look at each other as if briefly asking, “What now?” Then your character shoots the driver in the chest, dropping him and the grenade into the innards of the tank.

The proudest moment of my entire campaign was single-handedly kicking an oil company out of Venezuela. I won’t tell you details, but know that I had to take down 15 important buildings and the main bridge across the river.

It’s hard not to compare Mercenaries 2 at least a little to Grand Theft Auto IV. In a lot of ways, Mercs did things better. The cars are easier to drive, the helicopters don’t explode 90% of the time you try to land them, the factions are a bit more interesting than the mob bosses we’ve seen ten times before and the airstrikes add a lot to the open world formula.

However, GTA IV does many things better. The story more in depth, there’s more variety in vehicles and the world is larger, which, depending on the mission, could be a good or bad thing.

The biggest letdown of Mercenaries is the ending. I won’t spoil what happens, but know that it involves a nuke. On paper, that sounds like a party. In the game, it means a bright flash, smoke and a giant bunker missing a wall. I thought some of the earlier missions were more epic (and harder) than the last one.

For all that is wrong with Mercenaries 2, I have to recommend it. The game is repetitive, but fun. It doesn’t have the missions you don’t really want to do like the pigeons in GTA IV or any escort missions in any game. If you have a buddy that owns the game, it just turns the enjoyment level to 11.

House Season 4 (DVD)

2008-09-22T21:26:00.002-05:00

DVD: House Season 4
Network: FOX
American Release: August 19th 2008
Reviewer: Dan

For those of you who haven’t jumped onto the wildly popular House M.D. bandwagon, you have about four seasons of great television to catch up on. This is one of those shows like The X-files, Sopranos, or Seinfeld, where the following grows into this disgusting fan boy blob that knows the entire history of every character and every episode title.

For those of you who haven’t started watching it yet, I understand. It was hard to convince myself to watch a hospital drama because such examples as E.R. and General Hospital immediately come to mind, and that just isn’t my cup of… I.V.?

House is essentially Sherlock Holmes meets Dr. Cox (Scrubs). He’s a bastard of a doctor that people can’t help but respect because he’s just such a genius. Somewhere in the difficulty of dealing with House, hilarity still ensues. The show basically is the perfect meshing of laughter and drama. Since I’m not reviewing House as a show, I’ll get onto the season 4 DVD.

Trying not to spoil the end of season 3, House finds himself without a crew and being forced to make a decision from a stack of fellowship applicants. Instead of hiring three replacements, he hires twenty-five, creating an elimination-a-week reality show, whilst still solving cases.

This formula serves the show well for about eight episodes, but then it starts running dry. It was obvious that the writers hit a mid-season lull, where they didn’t quite know where to get the drama fix. Granted there are great episodes peppered throughout the season. The entire twelve or so episodes in the middle aren’t all boring. They are just more boring for a House episode.

No other season had this problem. Season 1 was spent developing the characters. Season 2 had the despicable Vogler trying to get House fired. Season 3 had one of the most evil characters ever created, Detective Tritter, who tried to get House imprisoned.

Season 4’s main issue is, House isn’t going up against someone more evil to gain sympathy. He’s more or less just a jerk until the last few episodes where the entire series and character of House are justified.

This season becomes one of the greatest and most emotional because of the last two episodes. I can’t say anything more without plot spoiling, but I was sobbing like a little girl with a skinned knee on her birthday that no one came to.

I didn’t write this review for anyone who religiously watches the show. Once you start, you’re hooked. I’m sure anyone that is an avid House fan has already bought the DVD, or will soon enough. However, if you like witty, intelligent television in a schedule that is mostly reincarnations of Everybody Loves Raymond, start getting House through Netflix. Then the real House conversation can start.

Star Wars: The Force Unleashed

2008-09-21T16:11:00.001-05:00

Game: Star Wars- The Force Unleashed
Developer: LucasArts
Platform: Xbox 360
American Release Date - September 16th, 2008
Reviewer: Joe

In Lucasart's first attempt at a next generation Star Wars game, S.W.F.U. delivers a mediocre experience with all the flash and Nostalgia a Star Wars game can offer.

You play as Darth Vaders secret sith apprentice simply called,"StarKiller." You are on a mission to rid the galaxy of the last remaining jedi in order to gain enough training to defeat the emperor alongside your master Vader. Along the way you see some familiar faces along with some new arrivals. The game takes place between episode 3 and episode 4 and is officially linked to the actual story of Star Wars.

The combat is decent and effective but sometimes leaves you frustrated enough to punch a small baby mammal in the face. Like blocking for instance, you can not move while blocking...at all! Your character will automatically block small laser shots every once in a while, but this is a technique you have to use experience for, thus leaving you a little unprotected most of the time. I found myself dashing and jumping around constantly throughout the game to avoid blocking at all. Some of the lightsaber combos you can unlock are really cool but its hard to find situations to use them in. At times, the lightsaber proves to be almost useless, cause many of the bigger enemies can block almost any lightsaber attack, so you have to resort to your force powers.

The force powers are probably the best thing about this game. This is really the first Star Wars game ever that allow you to really feel what it would be like to wield the power of the force. The targeting is a little glitchy, when you are trying to lift up an object to force throw it, and you target something stupid instead...sometimes it can be the difference between victory and an annoying defeat. There are 6 different force powers you can use: Force Push, Force Lightning, Force Grip, Force Repulse, Lightsaber Throw, and Lightning Shield. You can upgrade these powers as you progress through the game based on which powers you find most effective. Ill give you a hint (dont waste your force points on Lightsaber throw, its rather useless). I found that leveling up force lightning as quickly as possible can make many battles a lot easier. Force repulse is pretty cool because if you are surrounded by enemies, you can charge it up and release a huge explosion of force power sending your enemies flying and giving you a chance to collect yourself.

The story is decent compared to some of the horrible Star Wars games that have come out and disgusted me before. Some things that happen will leave you with a bad taste in your mouth, but others will give you that good old fashion feeling of Lucasy goodness. One thing that I did like was the multiple endings. When you get to the final battle, you actually get to choose between good or evil. The good ending leads to the events that occured in episodes 4-6. The evil ending totally changes the face of the Star Wars universe forever. I only wish that they would have added these sorts of choices at a few more points in the game.

This is probably the lowest point of the game. With a concept like Star Wars, you'd think that Lucasarts would put together some really epic boss fights, but NOPE! First of all, when you think of Star Wars, you think of awesome lightsaber battles, but in Force Unleashed, your lightsaber is the most useless weapon you have against just about every boss. Youll find that the camera angles are probably a better boss fight than the fight itself, they are terrible. The worst of all the battles is the "epic" star destroyer battle, where you actually use the force to pull a star destroyer out of the sky and slam it into the ground. You'll be slamming your controller into the ground after the tenth time you cant get it into the ground before more tie fighters arrive and start blasting you to near death. They have you follow these analog stick button prompts that are just horrific and ridiculous, and really hard to follow. Honestly, probably one of the worst boss battles I have ever played.

There is one major glitch in the game that people should be aware of. In each level there are Jedi holocrons that you can pick up. Some of them give you points to level up your combos/attributes/force powers. Others give you new lightsaber crystals, and some unlock nedw costumes. When you unlock a new costume, go into the costume menu. When you click on the new costume, it prompts you saying that you will be reverted to your last save point if you put it on. If you do not manually save before putting it on, you will lose the costume and have to find it again. Kind of a stupid glitch. Just make sure that you manually save before and you'll be fine.

If after reading this you feel like Ive been a little harsh, then take this in to consideration. I have been a huge Star Wars fan for as long as I can remember. I like this game a lot. There is just so much that I wish they would have done or done better and Ive played to many mediocre Star Wars games and spent too much money to be rewarded with mediocrity. Im sure some folks can agree with that.

Burn Notice

2008-09-20T10:04:00.002-05:00

Television Show:
Network: USA
Season: One
Start Date: June 2007
Reviewer: Matt

I'm somewhat of an anomaly. I love TV shows but I don't get any channels in my apartment (because I'm cheap). My roomate will attest that pretty much every day, I'll be sacked out on the couch watching some sort of TV on my laptop but it is always in DVD (or streaming) form. I kind of have a problem. What that preface all amounts to is a story about a TV show called “Burn Notice”.

I discovered this summer gem the same way I discover most things: Wikipedia. I was browsing the wiki for Mr. Bruce Campbell (of Evil Dead, Spiderman, and Brisco County Jr. fame) and saw that he was attached to another to yet another TV show. Being the fanboy that I am, I immediately directed my attention to the upper-right hand corner of my Firefox window and set out to find some way to watch this breathing comedic Adonis work his magic. Thankfully, my search had a happy ending.

“Burn Notice” is an action/comedy about a spy named Michael Westen (Jefferey Donovan) who has been disavowed by his agency and stranded in Miami, Florida without a clue as to why and not a penny to his name. Lucky for him, he was dropped in the one city in the Union where he has the support staff necessary to do some DIY spying. Within the first ten minutes of the show, he runs into his ex-IRA ex-girlfriend Fiona Glenanne (Gabrielle Anwar), an Army buddy and all-around handy dude Sam Axe (Bruce Campbell), as well as his mother and brother (Sharon Gless and Seth Peterson) who all play a part in his PG-13 revenge vendetta against the Federal Government.

Now that all of that exposition is out of the way, I can get on to why this show is pretty damn cool. It is very procedural (which sounds bad) in my favorite kind of way. At the beginning of every episode, Mike finds out about someone who knows a thing or two about his woeful situation and of course when he gets in a position to ask, this information doesn't come for free. Mike then has to gather up his crew and take care of whatever problem (ranging from drugs to human trafficking) his would be beneficiary needs him to. People who play video games (most likely anyone reading this) are no doubt familiar with this idea of quest chains and though it is kind of contrived, it works pretty well when applied to the story and characters of “Burn Notice”

“Burn Notice” has every hallmark of a good summer television series: A cast with good-ish chemistry, enough plot to keep you interested (but not bogged down, that is for shows like “Lost”), and cracks that are at the same times wise and groan-worthy. The plot is supremely followable and the characters are all distinct enough that I actually remember their names from episode to episode (which is a problem I have with many television shows).

What I'm trying to say is, that if you have some free time and a desire to not be a horrible person, you should watch this show.

Podcast and Update

2008-09-19T18:45:00.003-05:00

So here's the first podcast. It came out better than expected. I had some problems when I streamed it for my own personal listening. A couple of times the sound went out, but we're working on that. You'll hear about 14,000 "umms" coming from me as I ponder my next genius thought. I had a blast recording it and I think Neil did too so there will be many more coming. The link is below

http://fellinlovewithtech.mypodcast.com/2008/09/Media_Whore_Sept_18-142916.html

The website is coming along. We've purchased a domain and Neil is currently putting that together.

Some point this weekend I will be putting up some reviews. I know Matt almost had one done. Neil got the new Iphone and he's working on the website so I don't know if we will see anything from him. Joe has been largely non-existent thus far. I'll see if I can squeeze something out of him.

Enjoy and tell us what you think.

Update 9-16-08

2008-09-16T20:35:00.003-05:00

We didn't get up a review yesterday and it doesn't appear there will be one today, but there is good reason for this.

Neil and I have been discussing our idea for a website to post on instead of filling blog after blog. It will essentially be the same thing except there will be links to reviews, profiles of reviewers, podcasts, and news.

Speaking of Podcasts, Neil has been playing around with them for the past week and they've sounded great. We're going to record our first one later this week and will try to have it posted by Friday sometime. Our topics include Metallica (new album out), Dead Rising (re-released as a platnuim game and Wii version on this classic zombie game) and then what we're currently doing and what's going to be coming out.

Get excited to have us on your MP3 player.

We are still trying to decide a name for our site. Mediawhore and Fell in Love with Tech have both been taken as Domain names. Anyone that has any ideas that stick will get a front page credit on our site.

I'm about 70% through Mercenaries 2 and will hopefully have that review up later this week. I've also just finished Metal Gear Solid 3, Orange Box (third time), and I'm about halfway through Silent Hill 2 in anticipation of Silent Hill: Homecoming in two weeks.

I'm not too sure what the other reviewers are currently gaming. I know Neil was considering Yakuza 2 for the Playstation 2. Joe is tearing up Force Unleashed, and no matter what the other reviewers across the planet say, he's having fun thus far. Matt is constantly taking in all types of media so it's anyone's guess as to what he will throw at us this week. We might also add one or two more reviewers in the near future. It just depends on what kind of content they can produce.

Keep checking in, lots of great stuff coming soon.

-Dan

Kane and Lynch: Dead Men

2008-09-14T19:45:00.001-05:00

Game: Kane and Lynch: Dead Men
Platform: Xbox 360
Publisher: Eidos Interactive
American Release: November 14, 2007
Reviewer: Dan

When I heard about this vicious game in which two criminals go on a rampage through hundreds of police officers and civilians I thought, cool. It’s not like I haven’t been behind the sticks doing that before, but when I heard the fine fellas at Eidos Interactive (responsible for Tomb Raider, Commandos, Hitman, and Legacy of Kane) were putting together this “blockbuster” game, I was excited.

Good co-op games already earn my excitement and more than likely my $60, and when I saw the disgusting amount of advertising for Kane and Lynch I thought, surely, this game has to be something special. On November 14, 2007, almost all of that advertising mysteriously disappeared and critics gave Kane and Lynch mediocre at best scores. I sadly had to put my wallet away, and once again just fantasized about connecting to Live with my friends to rob a bank.

It was only a couple weeks ago when I was wandering the clearance aisle at a certain unnamed department store, and sandwiched between a hundred copies of Madden ’07 was Kane and Lynch, begging me to steal it from the store in a hail of gun blaze. I’m too much of a pussy for that, so instead I plopped the discounted $20 down and excitedly came home.

The game starts with Kane and Lynch being transferred to another prison and predictably hit by another car. After the smoke clears, half a dozen men with guns start screaming commands at your character, but they don’t do the greatest job of directing you. Then the cops show up. Still trying to figure out the controller setup, the game throws the tutorials at you while thirty of the boys in blue shoot at you, the giant, bright orange target. The game continues to force you to figure it out through trial and error, deaths and reloads.

The game play was reminiscent of Army of Two. It was nothing special, something that probably would’ve come out for the Playstation 2 in the early 2000s, but it works, especially when you have someone to play with. The one curveball the game throws at you is your mentally ill partner, Lynch. Every now and then he freaks out and all the civilians appear to be cops. This is a fairly cool effect, especially when playing split screen and seeing both characters’ views.

The story is sub-par, essentially stringing together ideas for levels. At one point the two criminals are leading the revolution through Cuba like a fat and bald Che Guevera and Fidel Castro. It punishes you for spending 10 minutes on a part by sending your somewhat retarded NPC allies into the fray. I momentarily forgot Eidos was at one point responsible for good games, and I cursed their name every time the “Game-Over. A teammate has died” screen popped up.

The writers also thought the more cursing the more extreme. The F-bomb is incorporated about every third word. I love four letter words, but this game used them so often that by the third level when one of the NPCs screamed “We gotta get the f*ck outta here,” you just don’t feel the urgency.

For how predictable this game’s plot is and mediocre the game play is, I still had a blast gathering 400 or so gamer points with my brother on the split screen. Would I have bought it a year ago when it came out? Hell no! I feel I got my $20 out of it. So if you want a short, fun game, rent it or search those bargain bins in the mall. Don’t spend the full price for this one. Or look for it shortly on E-bay because if I can get $7 back on the game, it’s going up there.

Dead Rising

2008-09-13T17:34:00.002-05:00

Game: Dead Rising
Platform: Xbox 360
Publisher: Capcom
American Release: August 8th, 2006
Reviewer: Neil

People keep dying, and I'd even be okay with that if I could make it back upstairs. Is everything I need to complete my goals even here? should I just ride out the night trying to avoid conflict? And, why, oh god, why is everyone talking like they haven't heard a word the other person has said.

There's an otherworldly feel to Dead Rising. Like the visual static isn't just a filter, but is actually hanging in the air like plasma from intergalactic travel. Built from the ground up in English by Japanese people, the game is abjectly bizarre. NPC affectations are as unpredictable as the murderous inclinations of boss characters.Finding paths around a mall feels like running through trenches on the Western Front.

Romero knew the real monsters weren't the guys gnawing on your neck. They were the infrastructure, madness and insecurity that led us into like sheep into slow-moving slaughter. Now the disconnect is outlined, made part of the grander cartoon, by people who twitch, squint, sob and moan in the goo -- a mocking approximation of human activity.

There's this book by John Saul I took from a lost-and-found at a camp ground a few years ago. Utterly ridiculous characters would flail and huff through the story like they were in a much-better Stephen King novel, but couldn't claw their way out of the bad acid trip they were trapped in.

Here, Kenji Inafune has strapped a billion grams of Coricidin Cold and Cough to the back of Dynasty Warriors: Code Veronica. The result is the kind of beautiful that slithers through the worst H.P. Lovecraft tale. "Here's your monster, are you happy now?" it prods.

Trapped between a save point and duty to the civilians, I can honestly say that I am not.

Mitch Hedberg- "Do you Believe in Gosh?"

2008-09-12T17:17:00.000-05:00

Album: Do You Believe in Gosh?
Artist: Mitch Hedberg
Genre: Stand-Up Comedy
Release: September 9, 2008
Reviewer: Matt

I was browsing Amazon a few days ago when I glimpsed under “new releases” something by Mitch Hedberg. It took me a second of staring blankly at my computer screen to put everything together and realize that this must be a posthumous release by my all-time favorite comedian.

It took me a moment to decide whether or not to get it, knowing in the back of my mind that it would be hilarious but having second thoughts because I knew it had the potential to be pretty damn sad. I clicked the link, hoping to God (or Gosh) that it wasn't some awful “greatest hits” record and my prayer was answered. Needless to say, I ended up buying it (in MP3 form from Amazon) and immediately put on my headphones to listen. It turns out that my initial diagnosis was spot on.

First of all, let me take a moment to wax sentimental about Mitch. Now, I didn't know the guy but I certainly knew his work. “Strategic Grill Locations” (1999) and “Mitch All Together” (2003) are by far the best comedy albums I've ever heard and his bit parts in movies like “Almost Famous” (2000) and “Lords of Dogtown” (2005) were great as well (as an aside, when I saw him on screen in “Lords of Dogtown” I almost choked on my popcorn, seeing as he had died early in the year and I had no idea he was going to be in the film). On top of all the time I spent with his recorded material, I even had the pleasure to see him perform live in February 2005, a scant month (almost to the day) before he died, which was probably the highlight of my Senior year of high school.

Mitch Hedberg was one of those comics who could make anything from belt loops to vacuum cleaners worthy of laughter and he does so, it seems, without even trying. Every track and joke on “Do You Believe in Gosh?” is clever, funny, and perfectly timed.

The only problem with doing a review of a Hedberg album is that it is impossible to translate his humor into written words and still have it remain as sharp and gut-busting. His awkward style and immaculate timing are something that many people have tried to emulate since his passing and no one has even come close to getting right.

For me, listening to “Do You Believe in Gosh?” was a great experience but one that ends with pangs of regret because no matter how much we wish it would be different, this is probably the last time this great comedian will have any new material released. I recommend this record highly to anyone who likes to laugh and doesn't mind a little sadness.

Smodcast

2008-09-10T18:28:00.005-05:00

Podcast: Smodcast
Original Date: February 5th 2007
Latest posting: Episode 63, September 1, 2008
Reviewer: Dan

My intense love for all things Kevin Smith probably came about my Freshman year of college. (2003 for those counting) I'd always loved the man, but I didn't know it. I loved "Clerks," "Mallrats," "Chasing Amy," and when I was in high school "Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back." Once I started realizing that this one man wrote and directed all of the above, I started reading his books, his blogs, and eventually listening to his podcasts.

Smodcast is called such because Scott Mosier (The "M" in Smodcast) came up with the idea of using their last names initials. (Kevin Smith the "S" in smod) The duo have several times entered Itunes top 10 lists. Needless to say, its pretty popular. They attempt to put a new one up on Itunes every Sunday night, but things like filming movies (recently Zack and Miri) sometimes get in the way. Other times general laziness get in the way. For the most part though, every Sunday night listeners are served a nice hot cup of Smodcast.

Smodcast plays a lot like Kevin Smith films. Some of the material hits you hard and some of the material makes you want to hit yourself hard.

Some of the episodes are hilarious. A recent one I listened to (episode 57 Terrorist Pizza) was one such episode. Scott Mosier (a Canadian) was pulled into a "what if" scenario by Kevin Smith. (It happens often, especially as of late) where he was an angry Canadian, a patriot (Canada for Canada, ehh!) who met Kevin Smith, an American, who wanted to go to a famous Canadian strip club. For the last twenty minutes of the podcast I couldn't stop laughing.

Episode 43 Smorpheus was an in depth look at what the world would be like if it were the Matrix and ask important questions like "are men happier in a fake world?"

Episode 52 (c)Rapture was another classic in which the heroes talk about their podcasting legacy and look back at some of the great times. This is also where they admit sometimes they have nothing.

Smith also often brings religion into the conversation, which is often hilarious. He was brought up strict Catholic, but was one of the few that remained faithful to the faith. (Episode #48 Masshole) Smith often comments on how his wife is an atheist and wants their daughter to grow up atheist. Kevin takes pleasure in putting God thoughts into her brain.

The downfall of Smodcast are many of the sexual podcasts. Sometimes these can be funny, but sometimes it seems our heroes are reaching too far when they don't have ideas. You'll spend a half hour just listening to Kevin ask uncomfortable questions to his co-stars about sexual positions and rules. This was way more prevalent with the earlier episodes. My assumption is, they didn't really know what they were going to talk about early on, and sex is something Kevin Smith obvious thinks and discuss often.

The special guest often make Smodcast. Walt Flanegan episodes are almost always funny as he tells stories of the local flea market (Episode 13 Sfodcast) or stories about the comic book shop customers he deals with.

The episodes with both Walt Flanegan and Bryan Johnson are probably the most consistently best. (Episodes 34, 35, 59, 60, and 61) You can tell Kevin, Walt, and Bryan have been friends forever because they are all able to feed off of each other so well.

Every once in a while Jason Mewes (Jay of the Jay and Silent Bob relationship) guest stars. Often his podcasts are good, but the man doesn't know how to use a microphone. Even with ear buds in and the volume up, you struggle to hear what he's saying only to blow your ear drums the moment Kevin comes back on.

All in all I highly recommend Smodcast. For every so-so podcast there are two or three great ones. Its a wonderful way to spend an hour driving to work in the morning, and often times you'll find conversation starters within.

Itunes

2008-09-09T19:42:00.004-05:00

Computer Application: Itunes
Release date: January 9th, 2001
Version: 8.0.0.35 (Sept. 9th 2008)
Reviewer: Dan

I figured I would kick this off with something everyone knows and by now is probably forced to use, Apple's Itunes.

I fought as hard as I could to not get an Ipod, but eventually I broke down and got one. Everyone told me "Itunes is great man, you'll love it." That's at least partly true.

Before my Ipod, there was a Dell Jukebox. I loved it, but eventually I needed to have a color screen and a larger hard drive. I clung desperately to Windows Media Player especially after version 9 (I think) when it stole all that was good about Itunes. WMP seemed to read the tags attached to my songs and fix them exactly how I liked.

When I first imported my 17,000+ MP3 and Mpeg files, I found that Itunes did the exact opposite of what I wanted it to do.

If I had a rap song that "featured" other rappers, it was not filed under the parent rapper, but instead created a whole other artist. Therfore I could either listen to "Dr. Dre" or I could listen "Dr. Dre featuring Eminem, 50 Cent, Snoop Dogg." The fans know that artist as DDFE50SD and if you haven't seen him he's great. It's like four concerts in one.

Do you know how long it takes to go through 17,000 songs and fix the tags? About 4.5 hours on one of the few Saturday afternoons I had off is the correct answer.

So once Itunes is set up, it's a great application. It's easy to search for music by artist, song, producer, date, times listened to, times skipped... you know, actually Itunes has about 500 categories you can organize by. I love it!

Downfall is the updates for Itunes. It seems that my computer (and several other friend's PC and laptops) can't download Itunes updates. It starts downloading and then crashes. So you either have to put up with canceling an update message every time you start up, or you have to re-download Itunes. Essentially erasing all of your saved settings.

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Since I got Itunes for my ipod I obviously had to sync them to copy music over. After I named my Ipod "Pimpmaster Dan" I started carrying 17,000 over a USB 1.0 connection over Thanksgiving afternoon. I came back Friday night when it was at 80%, and when I woke up on Saturday it was finally finished.

Itunes does give easy access to managing everything on your ipod. My only complaint is the response time of the application. Granted I have a full 80GB Ipod, but I still feel if they're going to sell it, it needs to work with the times.

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Lastly, the Itunes store.

There are two things I love about the Itunes store and one thing I hate.

Obviously being able to get music at any time of day within minutes is awesome. How many times has a bad hair metal band song got stuck in your head at midnight and no one had the CD to exorcise that demon.

Second, I love Podcasts. I love them a lot actually. I'm currently a subscriber to four comedy, six videogame, and visiting podcasts. Itunes opens up a world of free podcasts to help me take in news, good stories, and basically ignore the 50 minutes commute to work.

The thing I hate out ranks either of the things I love. Apple, in all of its infinite wisdom, has protected itself by selling MP4s instead of MP3s. The sound quality is unattainably better, but MP4 files cannot be played on any other computers unless they are verified. They can't be copied to any other MP3 player. And basically can't easily be backed up. Apple says its to protect the music from piracy, when anyone with a brain knows that its to protect their own butts.

I also downloaded some music from the Itunes store, reloaded my computer, and as of so far have been unable to download the same songs again for free. If I want to pay for it, sure I can have it now. If I don't want to pay again, sorry buddy, you should've backed these files up. Itunes, give me back my $30 and my soul!

Itunes is one of those necessary evils that isn't going anywhere. I can poo-poo on it all I want, but until the Zune is just as good as an Ipod, I'm stuck with it.

The Rules and Such

2008-09-09T19:24:00.000-05:00

So this is my second and a half blog. Reason for starting this is because often times I want to talk about videogames, books, movies, or technology that my normal readers don't really care much about.

So this is where I will post all of that information.

I suppose I need to some ground rules if I'm going to review things.

1) I must have finished or spent many hour using whatever it is I'm going to talk about. I would say I need to finish everything, but not everything is worth it. For instance, I could never finish Turok for the Xbox 360 because its a horrible game.

2) I will discuss the items at hand taking into consideration when it came out, other reviews, similar items, and whatever subjective criteria I come up with.

3) It has to be something I am currently using.

4) Things I will review: Videogames, movies, books, comics, cds, computer applications, websites, and potentially hardware.

5) This is purely for my enjoyment, but I hope also yours. If there is something you wish for me to review, let me know and I will try to track it down.

So there are the rules. If anyone would like to be added to the email list let me know. Otherwise I will include a link on pretty much every site I have control of.